I wrote this poem some time ago, and because it’s so universally applicable, I’ve decided I’m morally obligated to share it here:

Whoever you are,

Whatever you do,

There’s always some fucker

Who’s better than you

This poem can be made family-friendly by replacing “some fucker” with “somebody,” which in my opinion actually improves the cadence, but at the cost of losing some visceral impact. It’s your choice.